Ahhh...my I-don't-have-to-run day. And another NaPoWriMo number from Elisa Gabbert.

ORNITHOLOGICAL BLOGPOEM


You will be woken by the chirping of the birds, which is the sound
of their egos escaping from their bodies in loud and irregular streams.
They are acupuncture birds; where the chirps fall on your eardrums
corresponds to where you experience the pain. The birds have PhDs.
They chirp out chapters from their dissertations. The birds do not agree
that irony is dead. One of the birds has tried repeatedly to fall to its death
but always starts flying at the last second. The birds are excessively
vain about their wings. They have been known to assemble themselves
into bridges and other structures. An obelisk of feathers. Do not feed
the birds; they are following a strict high-protein diet. The birds are
control freaks. Do not, under any circumstances, try to touch their beaks.
One of the birds has assumed a leadership role. Another bird is plotting
to assassinate it. Some items have gone missing from the kitchen.
There is no such thing as Africanized birds. The birds are capable
of eating almost anything but are far too discriminating. If you are
lucky one morning the birds may chirp selections from your favorite
opera. The birds are especially fond of Wagner. What would you like
to hear? They have a very long waiting list and are nepotistic. Do not
be afraid of angering the birds. What angers the birds is fear.